I don’t want just to be happy any more

A couple of months ago, when U asked me what I want I replied: I want to be happy. I didn't know what his expectation of my reply was, but at that time that was the truth. I wanted, more than anything in the world, to be happy.

I guess it is only normal for a man wanting to be happy. In fact I asked or was asked the question: 'Are you happy?' numerous times in my life. When the answer was 'yes' then we are somehow relieved upon hearing it. Yes, happiness is a wonderful thing. Most of you love seeing happy people (especially those closed to you), and love to be happy yourself. I said 'most of you' because some people are just too jealous and they can't stand it when others are happy.

Lately I've been thinking about how some happy people are actually selfish, abusive, manipulative, and greedy and G_d knows what else. You would have thought that happiness and those moralities would not go hand in hand. But sadly it does. There are a lot of happy manipulating bitches and SOB out there in this world. So I wonder, is happiness that I really want? Would I do anything, good or bad, to be happy?

The thing is, it is not easy to be happy while doing the right thing. In fact doing the right things can lead you into sadness, feeling of loss and not to forget: sacrifices. Refusing to cheat during an exam with the consequence of failing is hard, but that's the right thing to do. Being loyal and trustworthy is not always easy, but that's the right thing to do, even ennobling. Taking care of your ailing family needs a lot of sacrifices, but that’s the right thing to do.

At this moment of time, I want to do the right things, regardless the outcomes. I don’t want to be happy just for the sake of happiness. I want to be happy because I did the right things.

The means justify the end, but the end doesn’t always justify the means.