Mala Educación a.k.a Grandma's Sex Education

I learnt how my maternal grandmother taught her kids about sex today. I was laughing until I cried of all the stories my aunts (who are all older than 70 year old) told me. Mind you the first 8 (eight!) out of 10 kids in the family are female, so they had never seen penis for years.

Aunt #1:
When she was about 12 year old her friend told her that baby came out of the body via vagina.
Aunt: No, it's from the belly button
Friend: No, silly girl, it's from down there
A: No, that is for peeing...baby comes out from the belly button, my mother told me so, she wouldn't lie

Aunt #1 said that her mother said that to have a baby you wrap a carrot with gauze and put it on your belly, then you cover them in some sort corset for a while until it disappeared in the belly.

She was already in the last year of high school at the time this story took place at a dance event.
When this guy she was dancing with began to pant, this conversation took place:
Aunt: Are you tired? Because we could stop now.
Boy: Np, no,, not tired
A: Then why are you panting?
Dancing again
A: Hey, what is that? Do you have a battery in your pocket?
B: ....

Aunt #2:
Staying over at her aunt's who had several sons. One day the sons were taking a bath (mandi) and somehow she saw penis for the first time
A: Ibu (mother), ibu... what's wrong with him... he has a worm!

Years later after she was kissed she said she thought she's not virgin anymore and she washed it 3 days in a row. This is because her mother said that you could get pregnant from a kiss (mom also had been taught this story)

Gosh, so glad my dad taught me well :)

On Food For Thought

Last night it all became real, my internist said that I have Colitis, an inflammation of the colon. Great. At least now we have a name for it so people can't say that I'm acting up. I've been suffering from cramps every now and then since the beginning of last week. My stomach doesn't feel right. I lost my appetite, I've been shunning my veggies.

I think my body told me what I need, if I listen to it closely. About two weeks ago, I was looking for vitamin B12, but my pharmacy didn't have any stock, so I settled with some vitamin B for kids. I was also looking for some iron supplement.

On Saturday when we were at the mall near our place I was thinking if I need to get Enzyplex for my stomach. I was also thinking about asking my internist some for Librax, which needs a prescription because Chlordiazepoxide can be addictive.    Guess what internist gave me? Librax and Enzyplex along with Mucosta because I'm alergic to all sulfa-medication, which actually works for colitis.

So, now I'm faced to even more limited dietary in take.  I have to avoid all the things that I love such as chocolate, dairy products, brocolli, mushroom, raisin, and god knows what else. The safest bet is eating Japanese food, which is not very budget friendly.

It's a wake up call to listen more to my body.
Who would have guess, high fiber is not good for your body?

On Our Birthday Party Conversation

The other Sunday my family gathered at one of my aunts' home for her birthday lunch. This conversation was between two uncles, a bio-ethicist doctor and a dentist, and me in Bahasa Indonesia, except for the figuurzaag which is a jigsaw.

Bio-ethicist (B): do you know where to get a figuurzaag?
me: yupe, ace hardware
Dentist (D): yes, or Depo Bangunan (home depo-red)
B: do you know what a figuurzaag is?
me: it's the circle one, no?
B: no, it's the one you pull and push *did the movement*
me: oh, I bought that one for mom in NL
D: what do you need it for?
B: Oh, we have this 3 year old cadaver at the faculty and it's already rock solid. So, I want to cut it into pieces for class.
D: Topographical anatomy?
B: yes
me: why dont you use figuurzaagmachine?
B: the cadaver wont be fit on it
m: yes it will, I think Von Hagen use it with his plastination
B: I need to ask the anatomy guy how to cut it cleanly.
D: yes, ask the guy, he knows which saw you'll need.

The next thing I knew, while I was trying to find one on the the internet Uncle B went to Ace Hardware to look for it with a cousin of mine.

Just another family gathering, huh?

My Life Is..

I found the picture on the right on Pinterest and showed it to an old buddy

His comment was: 

more like laughing at my expense to be precise hahaha

To that I replied:

hahahahahahahaha but it wont fit the t shirt

It's true.. I've been entertained by his antics lately, which is more entertaining than any romcom on telly

Here's to The New Year

So, the world didnt end on Dec 21,2012, let's begin our new adventure!