Friday, May 10, 2013

Mala Educación a.k.a Grandma's Sex Education

I learnt how my maternal grandmother taught her kids about sex today. I was laughing until I cried of all the stories my aunts (who are all older than 70 year old) told me. Mind you the first 8 (eight!) out of 10 kids in the family are female, so they had never seen penis for years.

Aunt #1:
When she was about 12 year old her friend told her that baby came out of the body via vagina.
Aunt: No, it's from the belly button
Friend: No, silly girl, it's from down there
A: No, that is for comes out from the belly button, my mother told me so, she wouldn't lie

Aunt #1 said that her mother said that to have a baby you wrap a carrot with gauze and put it on your belly, then you cover them in some sort corset for a while until it disappeared in the belly.

She was already in the last year of high school at the time this story took place at a dance event.
When this guy she was dancing with began to pant, this conversation took place:
Aunt: Are you tired? Because we could stop now.
Boy: Np, no,, not tired
A: Then why are you panting?
Dancing again
A: Hey, what is that? Do you have a battery in your pocket?
B: ....

Aunt #2:
Staying over at her aunt's who had several sons. One day the sons were taking a bath (mandi) and somehow she saw penis for the first time
A: Ibu (mother), ibu... what's wrong with him... he has a worm!

Years later after she was kissed she said she thought she's not virgin anymore and she washed it 3 days in a row. This is because her mother said that you could get pregnant from a kiss (mom also had been taught this story)

Gosh, so glad my dad taught me well :)


colson said...

"Do you have a battery in your pocket" :))))))))))).

It's your aunt's quote, but it could have been a Sophie Tucker punchline.

TA said...

I know, right?! too funny