Foggy Brain

I bought Actifed cough meds yesterday because, you guess it, I am sick again. Sigh. I contracted cough germs from this guy in the delegation. I told him many times over to wear proper clothing because of the weather, but he still didnt listen and got sick and got me sick because we went to the same meetings all the time.

So anyway, I took one dosage of actifed around 5 pm yesterday at the restaurant. By 6pm in the car I was sleeping soundly. When we got home, my boss emailed if I want to go to our fund raising event at Le Meridien but I had to pass that one. I had to email someone in the USA for mom, and slept next to my laptop waiting for the reply. Later on, mom dictated her reply in Bahasa Indonesia and I, half asleep, translated it to English. I couldnt even understand what she was saying in Bahasa Indonesia, so I put a disclaimer in that email about taking meds.

This morning I woke up late and still groggy, I had to drag myself to shower and later on to work. What little left of my intelligence was practically gone by the time I got to the office. At one point, I looked for my cellphone while talking on the said cellphone! The guys were laughing at me, saying it's all due to age factor, not only because of the meds. Right.

If anything, these are the moral of the story: first, I get easily contracted with cold and once I started to cough it takes ages to cure. Second, a low dosage of sleeping meds will knock me out cold for a long time.

So tonight, I didnt take any cough meds, only my antibiotics. Have lots to do in the morning. On the positive side, my throat feels a bit better than last night.

On Reaction to Bad News

I've noticed that each time someone deliver bad news about me, other people were more shock hearing it than me. Most of the time the news is just a confirmation of my gut feeling. So, when they were all speechless, I'd be: 'ok, what next?'

Perhaps I'm grieving. Perhaps I'm in denial. Perhaps I'm just being in the zone.

With each bad news, I just thought "this too shall pass".
I dont know when, I dont know how. But it will. I have faith in it.

Ajahn Brahm

Back in December, my friends were planning on going to Ajahn Brahm's micro retreat & lecture together. I didnt even know who he was. As it turns out he's a Cambridge educated Englishman who became a forest monk in Thailand and later on settle in Australia. He wrote bestseller books. Apparently his "Cacing" (the worm & his lovely pile of dung) book out sold Harry Potter in Indonesia. Impressive. This is not a country with a reading culture. A book heavy on Buddhism sold more than 100.000 exemplars in a Moslem majority country where getting 10.000 exemplars sold is already difficult.

So I bought his book in Bali, and started reading it in the plane.

It's an easy read, full of every day lesson. And funny. In fact some story are really funny. As always there's a message, about letting go, about enjoying the moment, about not having fear, about forgiving oneself. You get the point.

I didnt feel like looking for another way of meditating, so I only went to his lecture. The man is funny and surprisingly very open. So open that he said meditating is better than sex. Or at least his experience of sex before becoming a monk. Of course it could means he was crappy in sex, or meditating was really that good. Either way in my experience no other monk/ustad/priest ever said something like that in public before.

Anyway, in his lecture Ajahn Brahm taught us to keep only happy memories and let go of the pain in the past, because otherwise you will be a prisoner of the past. Let go the small stuffs and keep the big stuff. Let go having to be right which also means letting go ego. What matter is not me, or you, but us.

I also like when he talked about being vegan. I know there are plenty of hardcore vegan out there. Preaching how good it is being vegan. However, I once read about karma & being vegan which raise an interesting point, which is if you are a vegan and you make others difficult by you being a vegan, you create bad karma for yourself. Ajahn Brahm put it slightly different. He said be compassionate to animal, but also be compassionate to fellow human being. Because what is more important is what comes out from your mouth, than what enters into your mouth. This last part I think is his judeo-christian background speaking.

It was an interesting evening. Fun and full of reminders on how to be happy and to be in the moment. If only the interpreters were much better. At one point I saw a girl with hijab giving her donation for Ajahn Brahm. Cool.

May all being be happy

The Benefit of Dying in an Aeroplane

Inside the back of 737 on the way to Amsterdam from Dublin, I was talking to this Dutch guy about flying school. Then there was turbulence and I was Ok with it. He commented about me not scared about it. I told him,"The way I see it, when it is time, it's time. It be in an airplane, or in your bed. So I'm not scare about the turbulence." He said that he wanted to die on his bed, sleeping.

Tonight I went to Ajahn Brahm lecture. He said something about him not scared about terrorist attack in the plane because there are 3 benefits of dying in an airplane:
1. It's an instant cremation. Very efficient.
2. It's free. A normal burial costs a lot. When your plane blew up, it's a free cremation. Plus your family receive some money from the insurance.
3. Since you are flying, it's closer to heaven!

Kuta Cowboy

In the 5 minutes I was in Kuta Beach I was approach by a Kuta Cowboy. Gosh! The guy came and invited me and my friends to sit. They act quick, huh? A commented that we looked like mommies that's why he approach us. I told her she did.

What amazed me was there was A's hubby & baby with us. Man..