Sunday, September 11, 2011

Dont Know About You..

..But what Debora Cahn wrote ring true to me:

There’s an awful vertigo that sets in when women who were raised to be strong, and independent, and decisive, learn that they’re no longer supposed to make their decisions alone. They’re supposed to consult someone else. Hear their opinion. Consider it. And sometimes bend to it. It’s a nightmare. We were raised to do the opposite. Generations of our foremothers fought tooth and nail, so we could make our own decisions. And we’re still supposed to consult someone else?


colson said...


Hey, even the bossiest men, even Steve Jobs, consult some of their company every now and then, so why shouldn't strong, independent women do so?

O, I see :). Is it about social control? That's quite a balancing act indeed. (Much more so in the SE than here in the NW, but yet I also have many times been looking over my shoulder wandering what my kids or colleagues would think. And probably less so for men than for women - who seem to have the huge advantage of an extra "social-antenna" but with the drawback attached to it of perhaps being more vulnerable for 'what others think').

On second thought you might be referring to the closer bond between two people. Partners living together and by consequence having to abide by their "rules of engagement". As expert by experience I have to agree that it sometimes is a cause of friction, even fights. But it concerns both parties - it aren't necessarily the independent women only who get frustrated* by the ties of love :))

* Twenty five years ago I bought some pieces of furniture without consulting my wife first. She still holds it against me every time we quarrel:).

triesti said...

@colson, there were cases when someone in my relationship would be angry because I had decided to do something and not consulting about it. But when the other person did it, it seems like a normal thing.

then there was a case when this guy called gazillion times a day to let me know where he is. Drove me crazy. I dont need to know where you are every minutes of the day.. I'm not even your GF.

colson said...

Okay. Now I understand.

So, eh, piss him off :).