Friday, June 03, 2011

Dying Regrets

According to this nurse, there are 5 common regrets of the dying:
1. Not having the courage to live a life true to oneself.
2. Working too hard
3. Not having the courage to express their feeling
4. Not stay in touch with friends
5. Not letting themselves be happier

I'm working on #1, it's not easy doing it in this place where social pressure is high. However, so far I've managed by trying not to be confrontational about things I believe in which is not always common in this place.

As I'm lazy & kind of moody when it comes to work, I dont think #2 will be my regret. I dont believe in working hard, I do believe in working smart (whatever that means) and having fun along the way.

Ever since my dad died, I tend to express my feeling verbally. Because I figured if I dont say what I feel, and the person died, I'd regret for not letting my feeling known. Whatever that person does with that piece of information that I shared is their choice.
I still have trouble expressing anger, though. At least I refrain myself from cursing so I'm not creating bad karma.

I dont always see my friends face to face, but we keep each other in the loop and touch base every now and then. Sometimes I feel like we are more brutally honest to each other when we are not seeing face to face anyway. So, I dont think I would have the same regret as #4 because if I severe a tie it means that person hurt me badly and I feel better off without that person.

How do you define 'not letting yourself be happier'? Happiness is a choice. If you chose A instead of B and later on you are not happy about it because of circumstances, does it mean you are not letting yourself to be happy? Would I be happier being a doctor? I dont know. I do know that I can choose to be happy with what's given to me at the present time. If I stay in the "would've, should've, could've"-world, I wont be happy with what I have.

I dont know about you, but I'm working on dying with a smile.


colson said...

Dying is a damn shame. All the pain and trouble of being born, a life of blood, sweat and tears and an occasional shining moment, and then: full stop. No wonder most people will not accept death is the end of it all.

Now the nurse's check list is based on facts ( I assume). So, like you I'm determined to die with a smile ( if it will not be a grimace of pain). Even though I will probably not pass any of the five tests, I will be humming "non, je ne regrette rien" ( I hope).

triesti said...

I dont think I have the guts to be come palliative nurse/doctor. It's hard dealing with so much pain & death.

you still have plenty of time Colson to pass the tests :D

Multibrand said...

Your post reminds me of a song called " The Spirit Carries on " by Dream Theater. Here are the lyrics :

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond?
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say "life is too short"
" The here and the now "
And "you're only given one shot"
Have I lived before
Or could this be all that we've got?

If I die tomorrow
I'll be alright
Because I believe,
That after I'm gone
The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I am not scared anymore
I know my soul will transcend

I may never find all the anwers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

Back to Reff.

triesti said...

@harry, I think they sang that song when I went to their concert ages ago... I love their 6 degrees album. do they have a new drummer already?

Hning said...

What if we don't have any of those regrets? Does it make dying easier?

and it scared me that I don't have those regrets: Either that my expectations of life are too low for regrets, or that I'm so melancholic that I don't mind the idea of dying.

*twiddling with fingers with uncertainty*

triesti said...

@yaya, The way I see it, if you dont have any regret, you did what you did and you accept their outcomes. Would it be easier dying with out any regret? I dont know. But I guess you have one thing not to worry about when the time comes.

When can we meet up?